A Heartbeat That Melts Hearts

Can I just say that you are the cutest baby EVER?! Just look at you!!! I can't stop...

When Thursday finally came I was equally excited and nervous. I was thrilled the day had finally come that I could see you, but nervous that they would find something wrong and my happiness would abruptly end. Hormones were in full swing on my way to the appointment because I started crying and could not stop! Even though I knew things would be ok no matter what the outcome, I still felt like ignorance would be bliss if something was wrong. Having just a few more days thinking you were developing happily, even if I was wrong, seemed much better than the alternative. Thank God "the alternative" turned out to be just that!

I thought I was going to throw up when the ultrasound machine was turned on. But the picture showed up on the screen and I could immediately see your adorable blob-ish form. I breathed a half sigh of relief knowing that hearing your heartbeat was the next step to finally putting my mind at ease. The volume wasn't turned on yet, but I could see your heart pumping away... I didn't want to get too excited yet just in case I was seeing things, but when the nurse turned on the volume I finally heard what I had anxiously been waiting weeks for. Your healthy heartbeat was like heavenly music to my ears... 167 beats per minute... The most amazing sound on earth! Of course you know I started bawling when I heard it because the relief and love that washed over me was completely unbearable. Through tear-filled eyes and words I somehow managed to apologize to the nurse for being so hormonal, and she just smirked and said, "Your reaction is very normal! You'd be surprised how many mommies cry in this moment :) " - It made me feel a little less dumb! Daddy was there holding my hand the whole time and he also fell in love with you and the sound of your beating heart.

After we knew you were ok the nurse started taking measurements and pictures for us to take home. You measured in perfectly at 8 weeks 3 days - right on time with your due date! You had a little bit of a tail still (which is normal, don't worry... It'll go away in the next few weeks). We also found something else..... THE NAUSEA BUTTON!!!

Just kidding... That's actually your yolk sac, but you could have fooled me ;)

You were either taking a nap or you knew we were taking pictures of you because you just sat there while we marveled at your form. Such a good little baby already! We could have watched you for days, but of course the ultrasound only lasted a few minutes. We won't get to see you again until you're 20 weeks old, when we'll find out if you are a boy or a girl! I have a gut feeling you're a boy because male first borns run in your Daddy's family, but I'll be happy whether I'm right or wrong! Until we get to see you again the doctor will monitor you by listening to your heartbeat on a doppler. Daddy and I are looking into getting a home version of a doppler so we can listen to you any time we want as well. I think it would be neat to record your heartbeat so you can someday hear the sound that fills our hearts with more love than we ever thought possible.

You have so many people loving you and praying for you already. The next time we see you you'll look more like a baby than a gummy bear, but no matter what you look like you are the most adorable creature I've ever laid eyes on...

I love you always!

Love,

Mommy

The World's Greatest Gummy Bear

"............................" - That's all I can say right now. Partially because I have a cold and my brain is completely fuzzy, and partially because I'm so nausiated that I'm afraid I'll puke if I open my mouth to talk. You really like that button, don't you? ;)

Pregnant women should NOT be allowed to get sick! It's just not fair... But alas, here I am... Terrified that you're going to pop out every time I sneeze. Daddy called our doctor last week to see what kind of medicine we could take and brought some by my work. It was very sweet, but unfortunately the over-the-counter stuff just isn't doing the trick :( After spending the whole weekend in bed I still woke up sick with a fever this morning. I called the doctor and she said the fever is ok as long as it doesn't get above 100 (it was 99.3) and then she said she would call in a prescription for a Z-Pack. I'm hoping that will do the trick because the lack of appetite from the cold plus the nausea you're so lovingly giving me (!) is making it very hard to feed you.

You're 7 weeks old today and already flopping around like a crazy baby even though I can't feel you yet. Sometimes I swear I can, but I know that's all in my head since the average woman doesn't feel a baby move until they're around 16 weeks old. Maybe you're older than we think you are? I doubt it... But we'll find out for sure in about a week and a half! Your first ultrasound is scheduled for next Thursday and we're so excited to see you we can barely contain ourselves! Maybe we can also see your favorite button and figure out how to get you to stop pressing it so much ;) In the meantime, your poor Daddy is having to cook and eat dinner by himself since everything is making me sick. I'm sticking to my diet of Tums for now. Since you're still primarily living off your yolk sac I figure it's more important to keep down the medications that are helping you stay inside rather than eat a square meal. The doctor also told me it's ok and that we'll play catch-up with nutrition later.

It's hard to believe that just a few weeks ago you were the size of a poppy seed and now you're already the size of a blueberry! You still have little nubs for arms and legs (even though now you're developing webbed fingers and toes) so it's like you're a real live gummy bear just lounging around in my tummy... I hope you'll show us your nubs next Thursday so we can get some good pictures of you! I plan to use them to decorate the fridge, our bedroom, my office, and every other place imaginable - So make sure you smile... ;)

I love you always!

Love,
Mommy