Little Princess

You're a girl!!! When we went to Peek-a-Belly they told us they were about 80% sure you were, but invited us back for a follow-up appointment a couple weeks later just to double check. In between those two appointments we also had another regular check-up with the doctor. They couldn't find your heartbeat with the doppler because you were standing on your head again so we got ANOTHER ultrasound! We didn't complain... ;) We gave you a name so we have finally been able to stop calling you "baby" - Your name is Sophie Elise Blackwell.

Daddy wasn't able to go to the second Peek-a-Belly session with me - which, of course, is when you decided to do something really cute. You lifted your hand as if you were going for your eyes but you ran into your nose... You had this reaction of "WHAT... IS... THAT?!?!" and played with it for a good 30 seconds. Even the ultrasound tech was giggling at you. When you felt confident that your nose was probably supposed to be there you continued upwards to rub your eyes. You rubbed them sleepily before streeeeeeetching out and rolling back over to go to sleep. I know you're a real baby already, but it still always amazes me how human you act even now. You're the cutest thing ever!

You're 19 weeks old now... Almost halfway through "baking" in there! You're about 10 inches long and starting to make your presence more and more known. I swear someone gave you a flame-thrower because the heartburn you give me is pretty incredible. I have to be careful about eating spicy foods or even laying in certain ways or else I end up living on Tums the rest of the day. You're a night owl just like your Daddy and are starting to keep me up pretty late by squirming around so much I have trouble getting to sleep. You like to sleep in to make up for it though... You don't start bouncing the next day until around 10 in the morning. Silly girl...

You can hear now (although probably not very well yet) so we talk to you so you can get to know our voices. Sometimes I sing "You Are My Sunshine" to you and replace "sunshine" with "Sophie". Maybe if I sing it enough it'll be familiar when you come out and can help to calm you down when you cry. Or maybe it'll just make you cry harder since Mommy doesn't have a very good singing voice ;) Guess we'll see, huh? You are also starting to be able to smell which is absolutely amazing to me. Daddy and I went to Red Lobster for a date the other night and you started bouncing like crazy almost the second we walked in the door. What's even more strange about this is that I have always hated seafood. I can't stand the smell, texture, or anything else about it. You're definitely taking after your Daddy in food choices though because I wanted to smell the crab legs he ordered like they were flowers. I even had to eat some of them. What are you doing to me?! I held a cheese biscuit down to my tummy to see if you would get excited about that too, and sure enough, you did! I wasn't upset about having to eat those though...

Last night was an exciting night because I felt you move from the outside for the very first time. I was listening to your heart and your movements with the doppler and all of the sudden you kicked it away... Twice! It bounced up and surprised me so I stopped listening just in case you really, really didn't like it. I spent the next hour trying to feel you with my hand and could only feel very faint thumps that were few and far between. Daddy is really excited that you're getting big enough to feel from the outside because he's feeling a little left out in that area. I'm sure before long you'll start kicking him constantly and telling him "I love you" in Morse Code. You're such a smart baby I bet I could teach you how to do that even while you're still in there.

We've started working on setting up your nursery too. We want to go with a brown and pink polka dot theme and found the cutest bedding set for it! We used to have a ferret, Jack, who stayed in your room... But we gave him away to a very loving family so that he wouldn't have to stay in a cage once you're born. Now that he's gone we can start painting and setting things up. We bought your crib with some Christmas money and are still waiting for it to be delivered. I think your Daddy is more excited about decorating than I am - That may or may not have to do with the fact that I'm still completely exhausted all the time... I've been fighting a nasty cold/sinus infection for the past couple of weeks so that hasn't helped either. My fever got so high a couple of days that I was putting ice packs on myself to cool down and keep you safe. It's tough business being a baby bakery! Tough, but totally worth it :)

Your 20-week anatomy scan (verifying 10 fingers, 10 toes, etc.) is next Monday and we're really excited about it. Not only do we get to see you again (for an extended session) but I'm pretty sure we get to bring home a video of you too! So far we've only been able to show people your adorable pictures, so it'll be lots of fun to be able to let them see you moving around too. It's at 3 in the afternoon so I'll make sure I eat something sweet that morning (or smell some seafood) to get you all bouncy and ready for it. I know you'll do great! In the meantime, punch me really hard the next time you hear Daddy's voice so he can finally experience you the way I am :)

I love you always!

Love,

Mommy

Pink or Blue?

We are finally in the second trimester! It felt like it would never get here, but here we are... I keep waiting for that famed second trimester burst of energy to show up but it's nowhere to be found. I'm still having trouble keeping my eyes open past 7:30 at night, but the good news is that at least the nausea is now almost completely gone! I feel sick about once a week or so, but I would rather deal with that than non-stop every single day. Still no appetite really aside from sweet things. Daddy cooks dinner and I try to eat it, but usually end up hunting down some Raisin Bran or something. At least you don't crave candy...

Last week was your first Thanksgiving! We went over to my parents' house and ate until we were in a turkey coma. I know you were in one because you sat still for about 5 minutes and let us listen to your heart. Your grandfather hooked the doppler up to the stereo system so we got to hear you thumping away practically in surround sound. It was very cool! You also made it very well known that you were tired of me wearing my regular pants and were ready for me to move into something a little more stretchy. You're the size of an apple now (of course everything surrounding/protecting you feels 3x that size) so it was definitely time. I started feeling what felt like a goldfish doing flips inside when I sat in a position that was least stretchy in my pants. I figured it was just all the yummy Thanksgiving food digesting at first, but then it started getting stronger and more constant each day.

I listened with the doppler a few days ago to try to confirm it was you moving around - and it was! I would find your heartbeat, then feel the "goldfish" while hearing a swooshing sound, then your heartbeat would be gone. I got so excited when I realized it really WAS you. You're starting to get big enough now that I can also sense where you are in my tummy. That makes it much easier to find you and I'm glad for it. I know soon I'll definitely be able to tell where you are since you'll probably be kicking me in the ribs. Your kicking and flailing around is very important though since it helps you develop your muscles, so kick anything you want! I would appreciate if you could avoid my bladder though. ;)

Daddy took me shopping over the weekend so we could get some new clothes that wouldn't squish you so much. They were much needed and you seem to be much happier now that you have room to swim around. I feel you sporadically through the day but almost always right after I finish eating. I guess the food gives you a burst of energy. I'll have to make sure I eat something light and drink some orange juice on Friday afternoon because we are scheduled for an ultrasound to find out if you're a little boy or a little girl! If you're napping and/or are feeling shy it may be a waste of time... Luckily they will let us come back for free if they're unsuccessful in finding out the first time. We need a shot of you from the underside with your legs wide open. Think you can pull that off for a few minutes for us? We would really love to stop calling you "it" and actually give you a name, so it would be great if you could!

People always say that you never fully appreciate/understand your parents until you have children of your own. I'm sure there's some major truth in that statement because I'm already feeling a lot more respect and love for my parents and you haven't even started crying yet. In addition to that I'm also feeling a lot more respect and love for God. Having you has given me a new perspective on how He loves each and every one of us. Christmas is coming up which is even more of a reminder of how much He loves us. He sent his other son, Jesus, to die so that we wouldn't have to be separated from Him. I can't even imagine willingly sending you into harms way no matter what the purpose. I shield my tummy every time the dog jumps up on the bed for crying out loud. It's almost unfathomable to think about the fact that He longs to be with us so much that He would suffer through such a sacrifice. We're going to teach you all about God as you grow up and I pray already that you never take Him for granted. He's your true Parent and Daddy and I hope you will see that and never think otherwise.

...and no, that's not a free pass for you to tell us, "You're not my parents!" and misbehave when you're a teenager ;)

I love you always!

Love,
Mommy

Bouncy Baby

We finally got your heartbeat on tape! After I heard it the first time I tried every other day or so and finally had some success. This time I automatically hooked the doppler up to the computer to begin with so I could just press "record" quickly if I found you. Which I did! You sat relatively still for about 2 minutes and I was so excited to capture it that I sent it to about 500 people after you decided to swim away again. I have it saved on my phone too so I can listen to you anytime I want :)

Not only did we get to hear you, but we got to SEE you again too! At least I did... Daddy had to work, so he wasn't at the doctor with us. I brought him home some pictures though so he at least got to see you that way. The ultrasound wasn't planned - I went for a regular check-up appointment on Tuesday for your 12 week monitoring, and they were just planning to monitor you by your heartbeat using a doppler... But true to your pattern, even the doc had trouble finding your cute little 2 inch body. He told me not to worry because it was just hard sometimes to find it when you were still so small. He sent me across the hall for an ultrasound (which I didn't complain about!) and I hopped on the table happily anticipating getting to see you again! The tech found you right away, but it took her a few minutes to get the right angle to find your itty bitty heart. I won't lie, I started getting a little nervous, but I still knew God had you in His hands no matter what.


When she finally found your heart I could see it pumping away on the screen even before she turned the volume up. It measured a healthy 169bpm... Even stronger than your first ultrasound! You were laying perfectly still again so she was able to move around and show you to me at different angles. I saw your tiny little legs and feet - sticking up in the air like you were perfectly comfortable. She pointed out your eyes, nose, and mouth... Which to be perfectly honest do still look a little alien! Your skin is still transparent so it was very easy to see your skeleton and it looked like you were wearing a mask ;)


Just when I thought the ultrasound should be over and I would have to wait for another appointment to see you move, you bounced a single time to show us you were awake! The tech kept watching you to see if you would move again and you didn't stop for another several minutes. You would push off the side of my tummy, wait until you floated back down, and do it again. So much fun! It's like a built-in trampoline in there, isn't it?! Then you started "talking" to us. She zoomed in on your face and we could see you moving your mouth like you were just chatting up a storm. You did that for a while and then you started to hiccup... Or at least that's what it looked like! You brought your hand above your head like you were waving at us before you covered your ears and turned over to go back to sleep. I asked her if you could hear the ultrasound and were covering your ears to get away from it, and she said that was actually very likely. I felt bad that I was enjoying something so much that you possibly hated...

She turned off the machine after that and printed out your pictures so I could take them home. There is no evidence in any of the pictures that your favorite button still exists, so that may be why my nausea has started to fade over the past few days. I have no appetite at all, but at least I don't feel like throwing up all day long! More good news - Your placenta has developed enough now to take over the progesterone production that I was having to supplement with pills since week 5. The doctor told me to finish out this round and then I can stop! Hooray!

Nausea is going down, but fatigue and hormonally-induced breakdowns are increasing. A few nights ago your Daddy "mailed" me a date night (He rented a movie and put it in a box with a teddy bear, some candy, and a card - then had UPS print up a fake label so it looked like I got a package when I went outside with the puppies after I got home from work). It was very sweet, especially since he rented a movie I wanted to see ("Toy Story 3"). It's a kids' movie so I figured it would be pleasant enough to watch... I was SO wrong! I ended up bawling my eyes out at the end to the point that I couldn't breathe. It went on for a good 10-15 minutes. I had to use Vick's VapoRub just so I could get to sleep! Your Daddy thought it was hilarious, but I assured him through my sobs that it was NOT funny and we would NOT be watching that movie EVER again! At least while I'm pregnant... I even threatened that we were going to adopt brothers and sisters for you since I couldn't handle the drama of pregnancy hormones.

We're still working on names for you and can't wait until we can call you by one! Your grandfather is still calling you "Lester" and probably will even after you're born - even if you're a girl. ;)


I love you always!


Love,
Mommy

Sugar Baby

You're getting so big! You're still very tiny (about the size of a sugar packet - and weigh the same as two sugar packets) but considering you were the size of a poppy seed just 7 weeks ago, I'd say you're growing by leaps and bounds... At 11 weeks you are actually fully formed and just need to keep growing exponentially over the next six and a half months. You're considered a "fetus" now by the medical community instead of just a blob of tissue - But you've always been a "baby" to me even when you were microscopic!

You gave me a much needed break from your favorite button over the weekend and I was thrilled! Not only was I able to think about and look at food without wanting to throw up, but everything I ate tasted SO good... I was surprised that my symptoms were fading so "early" and did let myself worry a little bit (I know, I know... Bad Mommy!). My mind was put at ease though when I found your heart beat on the doppler Daddy and I got last week. When I finally found your sweet little sound I was afraid to move because I just wanted to listen as long as possible - But I also really wanted to record it! I hooked the doppler up to the computer, but you swam away and I couldn't find you again. I'll keep trying as you get bigger.

The break from nausea ended on Monday. I'm now back to constant food aversions and heartburn. I bet the makers of Tums make their fortune on pregnant women. Oh well, we're getting closer and closer to the second trimester every day, so I'm hoping that'll be the key to more permanent relief. Time will tell! In the meantime I'm finding myself getting very impatient with the amount of time before I get to see you again. I wish we could see you at every single appointment... If we had chosen to let the doctors perform diagnostic tests on you we would get to see you a whole lot more often. But we decided not to because the results wouldn't matter to us anyway. We would love you even if you came out with a pumpkin for a head.

We are, however, considering going to an "ultrasound spa" when you're 16 weeks old to see you again and see if we can find out if you're a boy or girl. There is a place nearby called "Peek-a-Belly" which offers affordable ultrasounds for parents who are impatient like us. They offer the 3D/4D ultrasounds too, but those are much more expensive and have to wait until you're much older anyway. The one we're considering is an old-fashioned 2D one designed just to give us a little peek at you and try to determine your gender. It's "only" $59 so it's relatively affordable, but we are also trying to save every morsel right now so it's still a good chunk we would have to give up. I don't get any maternity benefits through my work, so Daddy and I are saving as much as we can now so I can stay home with you for a good amount of time when you're born. We already know I will have to go back to work, but I know it's going to break my heart to do so... Every extra day we can save for will be worth it!

Since we may find out what you are in about a month, Daddy and I are busy picking out names. Girl names seem to be easier than boy names - which may be a good thing because I'm starting to think now that you may be a girl! According to all the old wive's tales there's a 65% chance you are. It sure will be nice to know for sure :) For now it's still fun to give people mini heart attacks by suggesting outrageous names for you (like "Fabio"). Daddy and I have pretty good taste so I think you'll like your name when we finally do give you one. Just leave all that name business to us and you just focus on growing stronger every day. Oh, and if you want to swim to the middle of my tummy to take a nap so I can easily find your heart beat again - that would be great!

I love you always!

Love,
Mommy

A Heartbeat That Melts Hearts

Can I just say that you are the cutest baby EVER?! Just look at you!!! I can't stop...

When Thursday finally came I was equally excited and nervous. I was thrilled the day had finally come that I could see you, but nervous that they would find something wrong and my happiness would abruptly end. Hormones were in full swing on my way to the appointment because I started crying and could not stop! Even though I knew things would be ok no matter what the outcome, I still felt like ignorance would be bliss if something was wrong. Having just a few more days thinking you were developing happily, even if I was wrong, seemed much better than the alternative. Thank God "the alternative" turned out to be just that!

I thought I was going to throw up when the ultrasound machine was turned on. But the picture showed up on the screen and I could immediately see your adorable blob-ish form. I breathed a half sigh of relief knowing that hearing your heartbeat was the next step to finally putting my mind at ease. The volume wasn't turned on yet, but I could see your heart pumping away... I didn't want to get too excited yet just in case I was seeing things, but when the nurse turned on the volume I finally heard what I had anxiously been waiting weeks for. Your healthy heartbeat was like heavenly music to my ears... 167 beats per minute... The most amazing sound on earth! Of course you know I started bawling when I heard it because the relief and love that washed over me was completely unbearable. Through tear-filled eyes and words I somehow managed to apologize to the nurse for being so hormonal, and she just smirked and said, "Your reaction is very normal! You'd be surprised how many mommies cry in this moment :) " - It made me feel a little less dumb! Daddy was there holding my hand the whole time and he also fell in love with you and the sound of your beating heart.

After we knew you were ok the nurse started taking measurements and pictures for us to take home. You measured in perfectly at 8 weeks 3 days - right on time with your due date! You had a little bit of a tail still (which is normal, don't worry... It'll go away in the next few weeks). We also found something else..... THE NAUSEA BUTTON!!!

Just kidding... That's actually your yolk sac, but you could have fooled me ;)

You were either taking a nap or you knew we were taking pictures of you because you just sat there while we marveled at your form. Such a good little baby already! We could have watched you for days, but of course the ultrasound only lasted a few minutes. We won't get to see you again until you're 20 weeks old, when we'll find out if you are a boy or a girl! I have a gut feeling you're a boy because male first borns run in your Daddy's family, but I'll be happy whether I'm right or wrong! Until we get to see you again the doctor will monitor you by listening to your heartbeat on a doppler. Daddy and I are looking into getting a home version of a doppler so we can listen to you any time we want as well. I think it would be neat to record your heartbeat so you can someday hear the sound that fills our hearts with more love than we ever thought possible.

You have so many people loving you and praying for you already. The next time we see you you'll look more like a baby than a gummy bear, but no matter what you look like you are the most adorable creature I've ever laid eyes on...

I love you always!

Love,

Mommy

The World's Greatest Gummy Bear

"............................" - That's all I can say right now. Partially because I have a cold and my brain is completely fuzzy, and partially because I'm so nausiated that I'm afraid I'll puke if I open my mouth to talk. You really like that button, don't you? ;)

Pregnant women should NOT be allowed to get sick! It's just not fair... But alas, here I am... Terrified that you're going to pop out every time I sneeze. Daddy called our doctor last week to see what kind of medicine we could take and brought some by my work. It was very sweet, but unfortunately the over-the-counter stuff just isn't doing the trick :( After spending the whole weekend in bed I still woke up sick with a fever this morning. I called the doctor and she said the fever is ok as long as it doesn't get above 100 (it was 99.3) and then she said she would call in a prescription for a Z-Pack. I'm hoping that will do the trick because the lack of appetite from the cold plus the nausea you're so lovingly giving me (!) is making it very hard to feed you.

You're 7 weeks old today and already flopping around like a crazy baby even though I can't feel you yet. Sometimes I swear I can, but I know that's all in my head since the average woman doesn't feel a baby move until they're around 16 weeks old. Maybe you're older than we think you are? I doubt it... But we'll find out for sure in about a week and a half! Your first ultrasound is scheduled for next Thursday and we're so excited to see you we can barely contain ourselves! Maybe we can also see your favorite button and figure out how to get you to stop pressing it so much ;) In the meantime, your poor Daddy is having to cook and eat dinner by himself since everything is making me sick. I'm sticking to my diet of Tums for now. Since you're still primarily living off your yolk sac I figure it's more important to keep down the medications that are helping you stay inside rather than eat a square meal. The doctor also told me it's ok and that we'll play catch-up with nutrition later.

It's hard to believe that just a few weeks ago you were the size of a poppy seed and now you're already the size of a blueberry! You still have little nubs for arms and legs (even though now you're developing webbed fingers and toes) so it's like you're a real live gummy bear just lounging around in my tummy... I hope you'll show us your nubs next Thursday so we can get some good pictures of you! I plan to use them to decorate the fridge, our bedroom, my office, and every other place imaginable - So make sure you smile... ;)

I love you always!

Love,
Mommy

Mums For Your Mum

Last week I came home from work to find some beautiful yellow mums sitting on the kitchen counter in a vase with a card. Your Daddy had left them for me just to tell me how much he loves me. Either that, or my hormones are starting to scare him...

I'm sure the first explanation is most accurate, but he has been bit a couple of times so the second wouldn't surprise me. I literally almost scratched his eyes out a few days ago when he "scolded" me for eating Chick-fil-a for dinner. He was just trying to make sure you were getting the healthiest food possible, but my hormones were already in a pouncing cat stance... WWIII ended when he raised a white flag and said he would no longer comment on our food choices. It's a good thing we settled that when we did because I have a feeling you're going to be craving odd/bad things for a while. So far it's been pepperjack cheese, orange juice, and strawberry-flavored things. Not actual strawberries... Just the fake, flavored stuff like strawberry ice cream - which is REALLY weird since even smelling something like that would turn my stomach prior to your arrival (Just so you know, I would really like a vanilla cupcake with strawberry icing right now).

Daddy is also getting used to sporadic emotional breakdowns. Those are usually induced by something really stupid like a commerical rather than something important like world hunger. If I'm not bursting into tears, I'm telling him that I need some space one second and snuggling up to him the next. Your poor Daddy is probably terrified. I would be.

You're 6 weeks old now and the size of a tiny lentil bean... You're growing arm and leg buds so I like to think of you as a cute, stubby little teddy bear :) I'm pretty sure you're using those new buds to press Mommy's "Nausea Button". I didn't start feeling sick until you grew them, so this is obviously the only conclusion. If you want to see the rainbow you have to deal with the rain - so go ahead and press that button all you want my Little Rainbow. But if you want to press my "Craving Healthy Vegetables Button" I'd be ok with that too. Just sayin'.

This will be one of your most rapid developmental weeks, so I will do my best to not scare off Daddy, and try to trick myself into thinking broccoli is actually strawberry icing. Maybe I should try strawberry icing on broccoli? Hmm...

I love you always!

Love,
Mommy

Sesame Seed Sized Superbaby

You are now 5 weeks old and the size of a sesame seed, but you look more like a tadpole than a human baby at this point. Even still, your body is developing at an amazingly rapid pace... Your heart will even start beating and pumping blood through your tiny little body within the next few days. You are incredible :)

Something else that's incredible is how God is already using your tiny little life in huge ways. He's using you to teach me to trust His will and have peace in the midst of anything. At church on Sunday we learned that there are two ways to live your life: You can either "be God's" or "be gods". In other words, you can allow God to have ownership over your life, belonging to Him and trusting that He will be enough to take care of you... Or you can try to run your own life. Since I have decided to "be God's" it means I have to give up control of everything in my life - even you.

The truth is that you are God's baby anyway. He is the one who is knitting you together in my tummy (Psalm 139:13). He has only chosen me as a vessel to create someone as wonderul as you to carry out His plans. I still dread the idea of losing you, but now when that fear creeps up instead of praying, "Please God, no... Let me keep my baby..." I have learned to pray, "Your will, not mine... But please God, hold my hand if You choose to lead me down a painful path". I will praise Him for your life no matter how long or short He chooses to make it.

This doesn't mean that I'm not doing everything humanly possible to keep you safe! In fact, my faith was tested in a scary way yesterday when the doctor called to tell me that my Progesterone levels were dangerously low. She called in a prescription for me and told me to be "very careful" for the next several days. My heart dropped when I heard that and all I could think about was getting you what you needed as quickly as possible. I drove to the pharmacy with my gas tank on empty and the light mocking me with every mile I miraculously drove on fumes. I was scared, but I just kept praying that God would help me get you what you needed as quickly as possible if that's what He had planned for you.

When I arrived at the pharmacy I was notified that they had no record of your prescription being called in. I called the doctor only to get their answering service. Not going to lie... I almost lost it and almost started bawling right there in front of the pharmacist. But as the tears started to fill my eyes I stopped - took a deep breath - and prayed, "Lord, this is in Your hands. Please comfort me regardless of what You have in store". Just as I finished my prayer another pharmacist chimed in and had the idea that the order may be on the voicemail system. It was, and they filled the prescription right away. I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and even though the bottle said to take it at bedtime (because it could make me sleepy) I didn't waste a single second taking one of those pills! I was only 2 minutes from home so I promise I wasn't being irresponsible ;)

I spent the rest of the evening barely moving once I got home. Luckily I have a job and a boss which allow me to work from home if need be, so I will probably spend the next couple of days working from my bed with my feet propped up on pillows. I'm physically being as careful with you as I know how, but I'm thankful that God is already using you to show His power. You are one special superbaby...

In other news, your grandfather has lovingly nicknamed you "Lester" - He said that with a name like "Lester Blackwell" you could become a southern gospel singer. If you're a girl, "Loretta" will have to do. I think we'll wait until we know for sure what you are before giving you a name, but don't worry... We will make sure it's a good one that will open the door for a variety of career opportunities! In the meantime, it's fun to tease your Daddy that "Lester was the one who took a bite out of your bagel..."

I love you always!

Love,
Mommy

Welcome to the World! Or at Least My Tummy!

SURPRISE! That's exactly what you were... and the best surprise of my life :) Daddy and I had been trying for several months but had decided to stop for a while - which, of course, is when God decided to bless us with you. He has a funny sense of humor like that. You'll learn that as you grow up and get to know Him.

I had a funny hunch on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 that I should check to see if you were making a new home in my tummy. Since I wasn't expecting you I took the test assuming it would be negative like it had been the previous 6 months. I even walked away from it and went to warm up my lunch thinking I would just come back and throw the negative test away when the timer was up. But you were ready for your big debut!

I was so shocked when I saw the second line that I couldn't say anything except "Oh my gosh............" over and over again for 5 minutes straight. I was at the office by myself, so when I calmed down enough I called a friend and sent her a picture of the test to make sure I was seeing it correctly. I still couldn't believe it so I took another test which obviously had the same result! I left work early because I couldn't wait to tell your Daddy. On the way home I picked up a bib that said, "Daddy's Sweetie" and wrapped it. I also wrapped the two positive tests just in case the bib wasn't a big enough hint. It's a good thing I did because Daddy just thought I had picked up something cute for the future when he saw the bib... It wasn't until he opened the tests that reality hit him and he had a similar reaction to the one I had at work just a couple of hours before.

I made an appointment with the doctor for the following day just to make sure you were doing okay. I was so excited that I couldn't sleep and woke up at 4 AM the following morning. The wee hours of the morning have always been a special time between God and me, but Thursday morning was especially sweet. I laid in bed still in shock that you were really there and just thanked Him over and over for entrusting me with such a special gift. I prayed for your safety and health, and for God to give your Daddy and me the wisdom to raise you in a way that's pleasing to Him. I still pray for you every second of every day.

I had been experiencing some cramping (another reason I was completely shocked at your arrival) and brought it up to the doctor. She assured me that it was completely normal and that it actually meant my body was working the way it should to make your new home more comfortable. I still freak out with every twinge and cramp I have because the thought of anything happening to you is devastating. I'm trying very hard to rely on the knowledge that God is in control and He has you in His hands no matter what, but my protective instincts are incredibly strong. You're only four and a half weeks old and the size of a poppy seed, so I can't help but try to do everything as delicately as possible to keep you safe.

Daddy is also doing everything he can to take care of both of us. He researched good foods that will make you strong and smart, and went grocery shopping while we took a nap. He also cleaned/moved the kitty litter so we don't catch any bugs that will make us sick. He checks up on us throughout the day and makes sure we're getting enough rest. He's a good Daddy - you're going to like him :)

You're doing weird things to my body, but you can do whatever you want with it! I know I've only known you for 4 days but I already love you more than words can express. I'm praying for you constantly and I promise I will do everything in my power to make your new home as nurturing as possible for the next 9 months!

I love you always!

Love,
Mommy